Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar. One afternoon, as the end of the work day approached, the bartender was dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnut extract. The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03pm. A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says “We don’t serve your kind here”. The bartender brings out a guy who looks just like me.ġ3. I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double. One of the yogurt cartons says back to him “Why not? We’re cultured individuals”.ġ2. The bartender says to them “We don’t serve your kind in here”. This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. He’s lying on the floor and moans “Why do you let the bartender do it?” “Because he has a liquor license!”ġ0.
The next time, the drunk jumps up and starts to lick her breasts. The bartender goes over, retrieves the glass and licks the beer off of her breasts. It hits the lady’s breasts and spills all over them. The bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar. A fellow at the end of the bar calls for a beer. There is a ‘very’ buxom lady a few seats down. The bartender says “Because you can’t hold your liquor”.ĩ. So, a snake slithers into a bar and the bartender says “I’ m sorry but I can’t serve you”.”Why not?” asks the snake. The bartender, tired of being egged on, replies “I don’t care, I think there’s a place yeast of here!”Ĩ. The bartender shouts “Get out! We don’t serve your kind here!” To which the cakes reTORT “Where else should we go?” And don’t move an inch. The bartender squints at him for a few seconds, then smiles and says “Once upon time was four little pig”.ħ. He goes into the bar and the bartender asks “What’ll it be?” The man replies “Give me a Stoli with a twist”. A man walks into a Chinese restaurant but is told by the maître d’ that there will be at least a twenty minute wait and would he like to wait in the bar. The bartender watches this performance with amazement before asking “What would you like to drink?” “You’ll have to speak up” replies the man. A man walks into a bar, climbs up on a stool, opens a bag and proceeds to stuff his ears with whipped cream and to spread strawberries in his hair. The chicken replies “That’s okay, I only want a drink”.ĥ. The bartender says “I’m sorry we don’t serve poultry”. The bartender takes one look at them and says “Sorry fellas, we don’t serve breakfast”.Ĥ. They walk up to the bartender and ask for a beer. Bacon and eggs walk into a bar after a long day of being Bacon and Eggs.
“Well” replies the man “I’ll have a beer and my alligator will have a tax collector!”ģ. “Do you serve tax collectors?” he asks the barman. A man walks into a restaurant with his pet alligator under his arm. As the panda stands up to go the bartender shouts “Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn’t pay for your sandwich!” The panda yells back at the bartender “Hey man, I’m a PANDA! Look it up!” The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: “A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin characterised by distinct black and white colouring. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich.